Friends Fingers

100 Ways To Live A Better Life – 2. Accept Your Friends Mistakes


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Maybe you got hurt by somebody. Happens. Just accept it and deal with it. People are making mistakes and if you can accept that for yourself, accept it for your friends too. In the end, all you need from them is their love.

We tend to blend people with their actions, which is fundamentally wrong. People are inherently good, it’s their actions that can be sometimes strange. If you can understand that, you’ll find it much easier to accept their mistakes too.

Imagine you are the one who have made a mistake. How would you like them to react? Holding a grudge against you, or accepting, forgiving and moving on? They expect the same behavior form you. Live and let live.

Imagine how much time you’ll win on your side just by accepting they can be wrong sometimes.

What Happens When You Accept Your Friends Mistakes

Short version: you start to heal yourself.

Long version: if you hold a grudge to someone, where is the energy? If you think bad about other people, where is the “bad” stuff? In them? If you’re  the one thinking that thought, if you’re the one emitting that thought, how could it be in them?

Or maybe it is in yourself?

Truth is that each and every angry (or guilty) thought that you create affects you adversely. You, not the other one. Because you are the holder of that thought. You’re the cup holding that poison. And that poison is eating you alive.

Accepting your friends mistakes will cut this poison out. That’s why you should accept those mistakes. Not because they didn’t produce any results. Because they did. If your friends did something to hurt you, the hurt was real. It’s not about minimizing the effects. It’s about refraining from anger and grudge. Their actions are already in the past and, if they hurt you, the hurt was already produced. Nothing to do about that.

But what you can do is to refrain from being angry at them. From holding grudges. Maybe you’ll keep being friends, maybe you’re not. Maybe what they did was so bad that you won’t want to be around them anymore. But even if you part ways, part ways with a light heart. Don’t keep images of their bad deeds in your consciousness. Part ways by keeping their good stuff in your mind. It’s good for you and it’s good for them also.

That’s the first level.

The second level is to accept that you’ve been a friend to someone too, and you made mistakes too, and you need their acceptance too. It’s the reverse psychology here. It’s playing the other part role. Just ask yourself: how would you feel if your friends wouldn’t take you exactly for who you are? How would you feel if you’ll be forever rejected for some stupid thing you say or for some stupid action you took, out of ignorance, or pride, or whatever?

See? It doesn’t go anywhere like this. Just live and let live.

further reading

How To Overcome Frustration In 5 Easy Steps

Make Peace With Your Oldest Enemy

 



Dragos Roua

The guy who started all this. Entrepreneur, ultra-marathoner, tanguero, father and risk taker. I'm blogging here, but I also spend a lot of time in this marvelous space.. You're invited, by the way.

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