Mastering the art of saying “No” is compulsory in many cases. We do have to learn how to say it without offending the other person and still getting what we want. Appropriately saying “No” can really save our butt from a tricky situation and that’s why mastering our “No”‘s is so important.
And still, the real power lies not in saying “No”, but in saying “Yes”. If mastering the “No”‘s will activate an invisible safety belt, a good, plain and timely “Yes” will push us higher than we think we can. If “No” is the savior, “Yes” is the creator. “No” is defensive, “Yes” is empowering.
Let’s try to understand the art of acknowledging, by reviewing 14 ways to say yes:
1. I Do!
If you ever asked somebody to marry you, than you know what I mean: “I do” is a very interesting form of total submission and commitment. You say “I do” with almost your last breathe, still thinking the other person would never ask. You are almost shouting, raising your voice in an effort of being heard and accepted. Can you hear me? I’m here! I do!
2. Let’s Do It!
The practical approach of starting stuff together. You use “Let’s do it” when you’re eager to start, have almost everything it takes, the only extra piece being saying it out loud so the other part can hear it. “Let’s do it” is the ultimate involvement answer, it’s so enabling that it barely qualify for a plain “Yes”, it’s more of an informal affiliation statement:.
3. What Are We Waiting For?
The standard “Yes” of the impatient (and maybe of the compulsive one, but I’m not quite sure about that). This answer literally bury the question and move the focus on the physical action. If you get this type of “Yes” it means the question was superfluous. Instead, you should just move on and start doing things.
4. Hell, Yes
Enthusiastic and passionate, this answer always reminds me of a long dusty road in the desert and a nice bike under the rider. It’s the ultimate expression of freedom, of leaving behind the old version of you and starting over. Every time I hear this answer, I know something fundamentally new will happen.
5. I’m In It
Business-like expression of a partnership. This “Yes” is wearing a suit and it’s quite disciplined. If your question involves some long term plan, receiving this “Yes” could be a very good sign. It shows commitment and strictness. The tricky part is that the other person is looking forward for the same things in you, so be careful.
6. I Was Born For It
“I’m waiting for this question since I was born, dude. Of course, it’s yes. How can it be the other way around?” This “Yes” is always making me smile. Makes me actually visualize the whole process: well, I think I would like to be born for…. that thing! Can we do it? Please? Wow, great, now let’s find some guys to spread the word about it.
7. Of Course
Chilling and kinda polite. This “Yes” goes well with a cup of the and some biscuits. Maybe a little break in the afternoon, around five o’clock, but let’s not push it. Whenever I hear this “Yes” I’m also prepared to hear a “but”. I think this “Yes” is the most “but”-prone from all. Nevertheless, hearing it makes me feel like I’m having some very important negotiation.
8. My Thoughts Exactly
Confirming and validating, this “Yes” is almost a confession. It’s so powerful that I’m sometimes afraid I actually penetrated into the other guy’s mind. I mean, are those really his thoughts? Wow. Whenever I use it, I do it because I really trust the other person or I try to build a more intimate connection. Which is always happening after this type of “Yes”.
9. Are We There Yet?
And that would be actually the “Yes” of the compulsive. I admit I get the shivers when I hear it, although I do know it’s funny. But the confirmation level is so high and the triggered energy seems so available, that I’m almost feeling guilty for not going “there” yet. I also think this is the more validating “Yes” from all.
10. You’ll Lead, I’ll Follow
Any “Yes” expressed in this form will show total trust and confidence from the other part. When it does not show a fine sense of irony too, of course. It’s the most uncertain “Yes” from all. If I hear this, I know that although I’m getting followed, I somehow keep all the responsibility. This “Yes” comes with a little bit of extra caution.
11. Aye, Aye, Sir!
Military-like acceptance. You can’t mistake this one as a disguised “No”, in my opinion. I almost always respond to this “Yes” with a relieving “Dismissed!”, just for the fun of it. And every time I hear it, I’m compelled to continue the discussion in short but strong sentences, also know as orders. The nice thing with orders is that you expect them to be followed, most of the time.
In case you’re having any doubt, I mean. If you’re hearing this, you’re taking off the veil from a possibly foggy situation and acknowledge total confidence. This “Yes” is coming with the sound of a hammer hitting a nail right in the head. If you know what I mean. I think this “Yes” is the most relieving of all.
You know I do, why are you still asking? It’s also a form of past, present and future commitment. If you hear this, your next question may not be necessary at all. This “Yes” is more than often the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Unreserved immersion and acceptance. That “yes” is my favorite, but if you ask me why, I’m not sure I know the answer. Maybe because I am that kind of guy: if I’m in it for something, I simply don’t know the meaning of half, I do it all the way up to the end.
What’s your preferred way to say “Yes”? Doesn’t necessarily have to be from the list above, surprise me :-). When do you say it? To whom do you say it? Leave a comment and let me know, I’m really curious.
And if you wonder why I chose exactly 14 ways to say “Yes”, well, it’s because I think for every “No” in our lives we should be able to come up with at least two “Yes”. 🙂
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Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.