Getting Something For Free

Do you like getting freebies? Gratuitous stuff? Free lunch, maybe? Well, I don’t.

I’ve always been like this, I have quite a repulsion towards free stuff. I become reluctant, I start to question myself, I back up. Although one may think that avoiding free stuff made for quite a difficult path for me so far (with the overwhelming stream of opportunities around), I will have to tell you the exact opposite. Avoiding free stuff made me far more wealthy and self confident than the average.

You know that old saying “there is no such thing as a free lunch”? Well, it’s still quite accurate.

The Exchange

Everything you do requires energy. Everything you receive was made with energy. Everything around you, including yourself, is a form of energy. And every time you start an interaction, you are initiating in fact an energetic exchange. Every form of communication is an energetic exchange.

Have you ever had a relaxing conversations with somebody else? Have you ever had a deep bonding with close, dear friends? Ever had a sense of exhilaration after closing a big business deal, a sale or just getting a promotion? All of these are successful energetic exchanges.

In each successful interaction our energy exchange is balanced, instant and beneficial. Balanced, instant and beneficial. Let’s take a closer look at this.

If we give more or less energy than it’s required, our energetic exchange is imbalanced. If we’re talking, for instance, and we give more energy than required, the other part may step back, ending the process. Or we find ourselves fighting instead of talking, opening our energy valves beyond control. Or we can find ourselves not responding in kind to other’s verbal flow, putting a lot less energy than required in the process. Whatever the cause, putting more or less energy than necessary, will make the interaction fail. This is an unbalanced energetic exchange.

If the response of our energetic exchange is delayed, we feel insecure. If we’re having an intimate relationship and the response to our interaction – making a gift to someone, for instance – is coming several hours later, we start asking why this is happening. Even if the response is positive, we start asking why we’re getting our response so late? Is something wrong with us? With the other one? With both? We feel insecure, and that’s because the energetic exchange was not instant, it was delayed. Most successful energetic exchanges are in the moment.

And if the energetic exchange was not mutually beneficial, we feel frustrated. If you close a deal under pressure, giving away some of your benefits, you feel frustrated. If you laugh and the other one cries, you feel frustrated. If you didn’t receive as much as you want from a conversation, you feel frustrated. That’s because the exchange wasn’t mutually beneficial, only one part of the exchange was favored. Most of our energy exchanges are not mutually beneficial, it’s always some part that will take a little more than we expect.

But despite these conditions, balanced, instant and beneficial energy exchanges are always possible.

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To Have Versus To Be

Our modern society has only two major mindsets, and those are: “to have” and “to be”. “To have” is the mindset which favors acquisitions, possessions, control, disruption. “To be” is the mindset which favors enjoyment, detachment, freedom and continuity. Throughout our lives we bounce back and forth from one mindset to another. At some point, “to have” seems more important and it’s preferred. Sometimes we chose more “to be” rather than “to have”.

The world we live in has a huge shift towards the “to have” mindset. Every social structure is designed in such a way that it will support acquisition or a form of control. Every definition of success is based on a number of possessions. Almost every form of value creation is based on a form of control and disruption. The “to have” mindset is ubiquitous. It’s so present that we forgot how “to be”.

Limited Versus Continuous

When you have something, you have it only for a limited period of time. The moment you started to have that thing, time will start its destructive action and the thing will start to decay. Every economic theory will state the fact that there is a devalorisation of things based on the time we’ve had possession over them. You can have a thing only for a limited period of time.

On the other hand, being is continuous. By choosing “to be” and not to have, you detach from the time bounding and enjoy your present second. If you obey to the “to have” mindset, you can have a beautiful thing for some time and then try to recreate the feeling by buying another similar one. But if you’re in the “to be” mindset you can be in joy regardless of any other external hook. You don’t need “to have” material incentives if you are just being. Happiness is not bounded.

Past Or Future Versus Present

When you have something you have it only in the past. You may have the illusion that you have it in the present moment but each second that thing will change. Mostly to decay. You cannot really have something in the present moment, it’s impossible. All of your possessions are in the past. All you have is in the past and all you will have is in the future. In the present moment there is only a presence, you.

When you chose “to be” you chose to live in the present. You can’t live in he past or in the future, you can only be in this present second. This second is all you have. You can’t be in the past, because the past doesn’t exist anymore and you can’t be in the future because the future doesn’t yet exist. Having something is always in the past, being is always in the present.

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The First 6 Months Of Blogging – Money

During my first 6 months of blogging I made 847 USD. I still wait for some results from one of my affiliate deals but based on the previous activity I can more or less predict how much is going to be. As you may already guessed, this is the third post from the series: The First Six Months Of Blogging, and it is about money and blogging. If you missed the first two posts, you can find them here:

The First Six Months Of Blogging – Writing
The First Six Months Of Blogging – Promotion

Why Do I Want To Make Money With My Blog?

Before dwelling on the blogging money too much I think I should clarify a bit on the “Why?”. I guess the “Why?” is fundamental and it has a tremendous impact on your overall income. If you don’t have a clear reason on why you should make money with your blog, I guess it will be pretty difficult to attract money making opportunities.

During the first 6 months I haven’t had a clear focus on making money. My main focus was at creating a self-discipline about writing, creating a comfortable blog setup and putting together a promoting strategy. I am pretty sure I could made much more than 847 USD, if I would intended that.

My revenue sources in the first 6 months are based on more or less incidental affiliate deals. I wasn’t proactive on those deals, it just happened. I found some opportunity, I evaluated the impact on my writing and promotion routine and if everything seemed ok, I jumped on it. The main reason behind those deals was to find some metrics and learn how much money I can really make. It was like a sandbox, more like an experiment than a real monetization strategy.

The reason why I want to make money with my blog is to support my lifestyle of choice. I don’t want to accumulate, but I want to be able to generate enough income to support my family and myself. At this point, all my expenses are covered from other sources. I do not depend on blog money. But I made a choice to create a different lifestyle and I want this lifestyle to be fulfilling on all levels, including financial levels.

For some of my readers it should be no secret by now that I consider money as a form of energy. Playing directly with the energy (for instance, with electricity, which is a form of energy) is not always the healthiest choice we can make. In fact, if you expose yourself too much to a powerful source of energy, you can end up pretty shocked. You need some protection when playing with this energy. You need a goal. Whenever you have a clear goal, money seems to flow much more easier. Making money with a blog just in order to make money with a blog is like putting your fingers into a power outlet. It can give you the thrills for a while, but after that you’ll end up completely wasted.

So, my goal is that my blog will support my new lifestyle. For those of you interested in more details, you can have a glimpse at what I want to do in 2009, for instance.

Broadcasting And Receiving

After I sold my online business, I choose blogging as my main communication vehicle. My message is simple: you can be a better version of yourself. I use this blog to broadcast my message. That’s all I do. I create value and broadcast it.

But I’m also ready to receive the positive (or negative, if case will be) impact of my work. I’m not only in broadcast mode, I also do receiving. I already started to receive appreciation notes from my readers (and that’s besides the comments). Some of them are saying that my writing really made a positive impact on their lives. They’re manifesting more courage, they start to change their dreams, they start to attract more happiness into their lives. That’s good. I am genuinely happy when this is happening.

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