Have you ever met a person who’s smile is instantly making you feel better? A person who’s talking about weather for 2 minutes but makes you happy all of a sudden? A person who’s doing nothing special but being around you and yet, his only presence is making you lighter and joyful?
I call those persons healers. Maybe they don’t even know they have the ability to heal other persons, or maybe they doing it only for the fun, thing is that those persons are like genuine positive energy islands where I anchor my ship every once in a while.
Healers are altruistic, happy and healthy. They laugh a lot, they make a lot of jokes and they’re usually surrounded by people all the time. People they’re unconsciously drawing towards them because of this ability: to offer unconditional (and most of the time unconscious) healing.
Have you ever met a person who’s smile is instantly making you feel the deepest cold? A person who’s talking about the weather for 2 minutes but scares the hell out of you? A person who’s doing nothing special but being around you and yet, his only presence is making you heavy and sad?
I call those persons hurters. Maybe they don’t even know they have this effect on other persons, or maybe they doing it just for fun, thing is that those persons are like black, sudden storms that I avoid at all costs to be involved with every time I spot them on my ocean.
Hurters are egoistic, sad and, most of the time, ill. They don’t laugh nor do enjoy being around groups who are laughing a lot and they’re always in search for new people. People they’re using as an object for their abusive (even if unconscious) behavior.
Hurting has this nasty habit of self-propagation. If you’ve been hurt once you feel entitled to hurt when your turn comes. Or even earlier, sometimes. Being hurt once is like a free pass to hurt others. They did that to me, right? Now I will did that unto others.
Hurting likes hurting. It’s like a sense of identity. If you see others being hurt you suddenly start to be part of a group, to belong. We’re all here to suffer, right, so I might just be in the right place if I’ll start spreading this along.
Hurting others is, as strange as it may seem, a twisted process of healing. Because you’ve been hurtÂ in the past, you try to let out the pain and the frustration by loading others with it. It’s like you can’t keep it anymore inside and open your safety valves letting it flooding outside without any control whatsoever.
Healing is perceived by many of us as highly improbable, so we tend to put more value in it than we put on hurting. Because it’s harder to find healing than hurting, that makes it precious. Based on what we experienced so far, we find hurting very probable, hence, receiving healing seems to be on the verge of the miracle most of the time. And that makes us perceive it as something beyond our control.
Healing is a natural capacity, yet the abundance of hurting makes it so isolated that we’re putting on the same level with super-natural. The downside of this is that we develop a rather shy relationship with healing. We’re not really expecting it to happen. We’re extremely happy when this is happening, but we’re not expecting it.
You may not know that, but you are capable of healing other people. Most of your relationships are based on this process. Your friends find something in you that helps them be balanced. Unless all your relationships are based on a domination / controlling pattern, you are already healing some of your closest relationships.
You find it easier to hurt yourself than to heal yourself because hurting is so common around you. It seems like the right way to do. Everybody is hurt, so it must be something normal. Or natural. Or acceptable.
It isn’t. You have a choice. You can accept it or you cannot accept it. It’s up to you. Not up to the person who’s trying to hurt you. They may be in that twisted healing process of unloading their pain on others, but you still have a choice.
The moment you understand and accept that, you realize that nobody can hurt you anymore. Nobody, except yourself. You’re the one who allows things to happen to you. So every time you’re hurt, it’s coming from you.
And you can change that.
Healing is the mere process of enjoying your life. A healthy person is a person who find joy in life no matter what. It’s nothing more than that, but yet, it’s so rare around us that we often mistake it for a miracle. Something beyond our control. Something super natural.
Well, it isn’t. Enjoying your life means accepting and embracing it with all that it has to offer to you. How can you NOT do that? How can you still embrace hurting (both as a victim and a perpetrator) when smiling is so much easier? It’s so easy to start healing yourself this very moment by simply enjoying everything around you. It’s that simple, yes.
The moment you understand and accept that, you’ll realize that your own life joy and acceptance will soon start overflow onto others. The simple process of not allowing the pain to destroy your joy of life will make you become a healer.
And by healing yourself you’re healing others too.
Which one do you chose? Propagate the pain just because people are used to it? Or go the other way around and start enjoying every second of your life, letting your healing flow grow and eventually overflow onto others? You do have a choice, you know.
Which one is it?
Running For My Life - from zero to ultramarathoner
The spooky thing about depression is that it sneaks in. There aren’t really trumpets and loud voices announcing: “Hail, hail, this is depression entering the room, all rise!” Nope. It’s slow, silent, creepy. It doesn’t even look like depression. It starts with small isolation thoughts like: “Maybe I shouldn’t get out today, I just don’t feel like going out”. And then it does the same next day. And then the day after that and so on. And then it starts to whisper louder and louder in your ears: “Why would you go outside, you loser? Didn’t have enough yet? Want more people to make fun of how much of a big, fat loser you are?”
And then you start to breath in guilt and shame, instead of air. Every breathe you take is putting more dark thoughts into your body.
Until you get stuck. You can’t move anymore. At all.
If you want to know how I got out of this space, eventually, check out my latest book on Amazon and Kindle.